As a former minister and now as an attorney, I have been working with families in healthcare emergencies and crisis situations like death and dying since 1991. The death of a loved one is deeply painful, sobering and usually creates conflict within families.
Without some preparation on your part, it will create conflict in yours, too. This is the time when we want our children to give each other love and support. Here are 5 things you can do to ensure the last time your kids speak is NOT at your funeral.
Talk. Talk about what you want for your estate, funeral, care, home or money. Explain your reasons. Ask your children for their input. If you’re not sure where to start, we have a free guide to help you get the conversation started.
Make a Plan (and tell your children what your plan is). Plan your funeral. Create your will, trust, living will and put your Power-of-Attorney in place.
Explain to the children who you want to lead. Tell them who will be in charge of the estate, health care choices and financial matters. Choose someone who can handle the responsibility.
Lay out your care preferences. Share your care preferences (in a home, a facility, or with a family member), what quality of life you want, how you feel about others caring for you and your concerns of burdening others, the type of treatments you want or do not want, and how this will be paid for.
Be clear what matters to you about your house and money. If your house is important to you, say so and how the family should care for it. Tell them whether it is to be sold or kept in the family. The same goes for your financial resources.
When you talk with your kids about end-of-life issues it helps them be better prepared and able to deal with them. It will help you know where they are coming from, allowing you to make better choices. It will help you see potential problems in advance as well.
We see how the lack of preparation can wound a family and possibly tear it apart. At Elder Law Guidance, we want to help you preserve your assets AND your family. Call us at (859) 544-6012 for an appointment or for a free guide to help you and your family start these conversations together.